Man Hater.. not anymore!!

diary.swimming

2008-07-06T14:42:00.000-07:00

Jul 07, 2008 Monday 9:40 a.m.

Nag swimming ako kahapon kasama yung pinsan kong si Gary, ang asawa niyang si Pion at yung pamangkin ni Pion na si Charlene. Sa totoo lang, di naman ako ganun ka-excited kasi alam mo yun, parang konti lang yung tao at isa pa umuulan. Ano kaya yun? Matapos kong magawa ang mga strokes na alam ko (akalain mo yun?), tinamand na ako. One and one half hour lang kami nag swimming kasi thunderstorm signal na daw eh. Anyway, ang magandang nagyari lang para sa akin ay first time kong magsuot ng bathing suit. Arghh! Shocking! Kahit kita yung mga cellulites ko, go pa rin kasi alam mo wala naman silang pakialam. Ang maganda dito ay tanggap ng society kung ano ka basta may pera ka. Uhm.. mukha lang akong may pera pero syempre di yun totoo. Ang pangit naman sabihin kung wala akong pera parang di makakatotohanan. May pera pero konti lang. Anyway, back to the topic. At I feel sad na rin kasi sana kasama ko yung family o close friends ko di ba? Sana din kasama ko yung boyfriend ko kasi kung mangyayari yun, kahit thunderstorn warning, magswi-swimming pa rin ako.

Nga pala, masaya na rin ako kasi tinuturing nila ako bilang isang kapamilya. I mean yung akala mo close na close talaga. Dito na ako ngayon sa work at wala akong magawa, I mean tinatamad pa akong gumawa. Wala pa naman si Boss eh.. hehe!! ^^

Thank you God because...

2008-07-02T02:22:00.000-07:00

02 Jul, 2008

5. Masaya ako dahil di ako napagalitan sa work or napagsabihan man lang at di ko na kailangan ipa-check kay Paula yung ginagawa ko. I can work independently.

4. Kasabay ko kumain ang mga new friends ko sa office.

3. Nakausap ko sina Mama. Miss ko na talaga sila, grabe!

2. Nakakapag-multiply ako kahit sa work. Weeee!!!

1. Kausap ko ang one and only love ko ngayon at nakikita ko siya sa cam. (I love you so much love!)

Yan muna sa ngayon! Basta thank you po God! Bukas ulit ah!

Things I love about Mac

2008-06-29T02:06:00.000-07:00

Why do I love thee? There's a million of reasons that I might as well start with a few, for it may take a life time to say it all.

I love...

>the way you smile at me even when times gow wrong.

>the way you say you love me.

>how you make me laugh because of your corny jokes.

>how you hug me so tight when after we have a fight.

>you kiss my lips.

>the way you tickle me and cuddle with me.

>it when you call me "baby".

>the way you act stupid in front of me.

>it when you allow me to punch you.

>how sincerely you told me you love me so...

These are just very few reasons. To be continued...

you're where I belong

2008-06-12T01:16:00.000-07:00

Love, waahhh!! I'm so stressed na talaga.. pwede bang umuwi ka na dito sa akin? Nakakaasar kasi naman kahit maraming tao sa paligid ko, ikaw pa din yung naiisip ko eh. Pakirandam ko magisa lang ako.

I wanted to stay in your arms always.

You're where I belong, a part of my heart, there's nothing I can do...

I'm happy

2007-11-04T02:07:00.000-08:00

I feel happy when I hear your voice,

When you speak the words, you love me,

I feel happy because I know you mean it,

God knows how much I do too.

You make me happy so much, you know,

That every fibre of my being rejoice,

Everytime I heard you're being near,

Only you makes me feel this way.

If you are the answer, what would be the question?

What is happiness for me, that will be,

You thought me how to open my eyes in this world,

You're my man cause you make me so happy.

Dedicated to: no. 22 ^__^

i'm a big girl now

2007-10-31T06:02:00.000-07:00

My debut party goes very wonderful. Almost organized, masarap ang food, dumating ang mga pinaka close friends ko. Halos nagkaroon ng high school reunion dahil nagkita-kita ang mga pinakamalapit kong kaibigan. My family was complete. Everyone was happy and enjoying the party. Nakasayaw ko ang mga lalaking dati ay di ko naman dati ay kinakausap. My closest girlfriends wish me wonderful wishes. I have receieved a ot of gift that for sure, I'll treasure forever. There was this rain shower that symbolizes more blessing to come. Everything unexpected happened. This was the only day of my life where my laughter can be heard and this soul of mine was indeed so happy to what was happening. I forgot my worries, my sadness for the past months. I forgot my miseries. I only remember happiness and fun. I wa sjust so happy.

Pero di doon nagtatapos ang lahat. I now, have to be strong. I have to be more responsible. I have to brave. Haay.. seemed scary kasi dati maliit lang ang mundo ko. But you see, I'm stronger now. My world gets bigger and bigger. Suddenly, my world become so big. I've met a lot of people.

Habang nakikipagsayaw ako sa last rose ko, di ko mapigilan ang mapagisip. Nasabi ko sa sarili ko.. "Shocks, eto na nga talaga! This is really is it." Ugh.. all I can say is Thank God, umabot ako sa ganito.

sexy forever

2007-10-18T00:00:00.000-07:00

Bakit ganun? Lagi na lang napapansin ng tao sayo yung mga negative traits mo? For example, "Ui, tumaba ka!" or "Ang taba mo!" or sometimes, "Shocks!! you gained weight!!". It's really annoying you know lalo na kung may positive factor naman sayo. Siguro, isa yan sa mga rules ng buhay. I mean, BAD RULES that insecure people follow.

Pero di lang yan ang napansin ko tungkol sa pagtaba ko. Napansin ko na sa tuwing nai-inlove ako ay pumapayat ako. Di nga? Okey, hindi payat pero I'm loosing weight. Siguro nangyayari yun dahil di ako makakain sa kakaisip, hyper ako masyado o di ako makatulog or consius ako masyado. HA!! So ibig sabihin sa loob ng almost 6 months ko dito sa Hongkong na wala akong boyfriend, I have gained weight. As a matter of fact, it's true. Kaya pagbalik ko sa Philippines, yun ang unang napansin sa akin. How sad! Di man lang napansin na pumuti ako or humaba ang hair ko o gumanda ako.. tsk! bat ganun sila? Napakalupit di ba? Again, the rule of life applies here. Ok whatever! Ang dahilan naman ng pagtaba ko ay ang mga sumusond:I'm depressed kaya sa pagkain na lang nabubuhos ang atensyon; Walang makausap kaya kain na lang ako; masarap ang food; walang magawa kaya kain na lang ako. Ganun?!! So yun nga!

In conclusion, kanina nagkita-kita uli kami ng mga relatives for a fairwell lunch dahil ilang araw na lang at babalik na uli ako sa Pilipinas. Their remarks? Hmm.. "Hey, you have loosed weight compared from the last time we saw you!" In other words, I'm inlove again. Haayy.. ^__^

To: My FB (Future Boyfriend)

2007-10-16T03:36:00.000-07:00

Dear FB,

I wrote this letter because I would like to clarify some things before you would be officially mine because in a couple of weeks, I know we will be together. How do I know eh? Well, I just feel it. In the inner me, I mean. And we have a contract, remember?

Anyway, I wanted to know if it's okey if I kiss you every time I want to, and is it okey if I cuddle you as long as I want, or would you mind if I demand you to say "I love you" a couple of times a day just to remind me of your love for me, or if I demand you to call me when you're not around, or is it okey if y you're the one who should apologize first, because if yes, then I know you're the one I've been waiting for.

Is it alright also if we go to church every "misa de galo" ? Or If we date in a special way every valentines day, how about attending costume party every Halloween although it's kid stuff, or is it okey if we play on the beach every summer, because if you would then I wont let you go because I feel lucky having you.

And is it okey also if you would let me go with my girl friends for a girls' outing, or have a time with my family, or wouldn't you mind if I surprise you sometimes? Because if yes, then I think I would be the happiest girlfriend in the whole wide world. I know it's too much to ask but will you marry me too? Well, you can't blame me for asking oyu too.

Forever and Always,
Cindy

heart 2

2007-10-11T20:29:00.000-07:00

What is the difference between "I'm in love with you" and "I love you"? Well, there is a difference. A big one, I suppose.

"I'm inlove with you" is a one-sided love. Ibig sabihin gusto kita kaya nga lang you have to love me too. Maraming expectations. It's a bit more selfish actually. Funny, isn't? That might be a bit romantic but if you will take a look at the logic of it, it's more about describing one's feeling. Di pa rin sure.

Samantalang ang "I love you" is more deeper than it may seemed. Compose of only three words but napakalalim talaga ng salitang yan. A lot of people use it wrongly. It means "I don't have any expectations", "I'm ready to accept you for who you are" or "Although it hurts, Although you love him/her, I'm still here for you no matter what". Ganoon. One sided man siya, hindi ito selfish.

Sometimes, I think love is really weird. Know why? Kasi naman, ang dami niyang contrast. Ang daming laws. Or rather walang law kaya mas magulo. Kailangan mo lang talaga sundin ang isinisigaw ng iyong damdamin. (ugh!!) Kahit mali, tama. Kahit tama, mali. Sabi nila opposite attracts. Pero pag mag asawa na kayo, madalas kayong magaaway. Minsan, di ma-meet ang expectations. Minsan naman, ayan na pero biglang mawawala. Nakakainis!! Minsan kailangang maghintay. Sasabihin nila hintayin mo lang ang taong para sayo, eh paano kung naghihintay din sya sayo eh di, hindi kayo nagkita. Actually, marami pang di maintindihang laws ng pagibig. But sometimes, kailangan mo na lang intindihin. That's the wonders of it, you know! Gives me head ache sometimes, but the only thing that makes me happy, though.

heart

2007-10-11T02:38:00.000-07:00

Malalim ang kahulugan ng salitang Love. Mas malalim pa sa Marianas Trench. Hindi lang sya basta basta salita. There is more to it than the word itself. Hindi lang siya basta dating, courtship, marriage, having kids. It's not that easy.

kailangan nararandaman mo talaga siya sa kaibud-iburan ng iyong damdamin.. Hindi siya love kung physically lang, it must be emotionally and spiritually. Dapat committed sa isa't isa.

Pag na-inlove ka naman, parang ganito yun, tatalon ka sa isang tulay na di mo alam kung ano ang nasa baba. Pwede bato, yan ay kung walang wala kang pagasa. Napakasakit nun na siguro mas nanaisin mo na lang siguro na mamatay dahil ang kaibahan nun ay feeling mo namatay ka na pero sa kasamaang palad humihinga ka pa.

Pwede din namang sa tubig ka bumagsak. Again, nakakatakot pa rin dahil di mo alam kung mabubuhay ka pa dahil there's a lot of possibilities.

Swerte ka naman kung may sasalo sayo sa baba.. ibig sabihin, kung sino man ang taong yun, mahal ka din. At yan ay nangyayar lamang 1 out of 10 so swertihan talaga. Minsan nga kung talagang swerte talaga ay sabay pa kayong tatalon. Yun nga lang, swertuhan din kung saan kayo babagsak dahil madalas meron at merong bibitaw. Well, Minsan naman hanggang sa huli ay kayo pa rin.

Love. Cannot be expressed by just words. There is more to it. Just like the Universe itself. Cannot be expressed but is felt by every tiny molecule, or even atoms.

eighteen

2007-10-11T02:07:00.000-07:00

In 10 days, I'm going to turn 18. Sabi nila, isang beses lang maging 18 ang babae, ito yung time na pwede ka ng bumoto, kumuha ng driver's license o pwede na mag boyfriend, according to Dad.

When I was still a little girl, I sometimes imagine what it'll be like. Ano hitsura ko? Kung tatangkad ba ako, kung sexy ba (dahil ng mga oras na yun ay madalas akong asarin na baboy o taba!!) ano na kaya nag mga na-achieve ko ng time na yun, may boyfriend nakaya ako, anong college course ko?

I always daydreamed of being a perfect lady, maganda, sexy and everything. I imagined myself na naglalagay ng make-up, siguro outing with friends, ganoon. That was my goal at that time. Ang magdalaga.

Gusto ko pa ngang madaliin eh. But it wasn't easy. I can say that I have experienced a lot of things, both good an d bad. I think I am a very sensitive person at that time, maybe up to now. I am a bit of a loner but I still have my bestfriends. I even think my sister as my rival. And everything's not really normal.

The journey's not been so easy, but it brought me happiness and experiences no one can teach me. I have learned my lessons, though. Now, I'm almost there, getting close to one of my dream. Sooner, I'm gonna close this chapter of my life, and move forward. My world's getting bigger now, by the way! Not long, and the whole world's gonna be my home. I'm going to make a change, gonna explore it, new experiences, perhaps finish college, successful career or how about marriage, then eh? Whatever it takes me, I know I could.

But I wont forget my childhood years. The years that thought me there will always be sunrise and sunset.